


There's a future to walk toward

by TheTreeGroup



Series: I write these instead of going to class [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: (:, 3am fanfic writing isn't advised, Adoption in the sense of "this is my kid now", Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author has a crappy memory and no skills so yikes, But at least he has Tommy, DadSchlatt, Dadza, Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Gen, He likes books more than his siblings, He's a child though so it's seen as okay, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am actually so tired all the time, I can't let people be happy, I lied about Phil being best dad, I will be returning to this! Chapter 6 is just being a bitch, I'M SORRY I'M BRITISH, I'm Sorry, I'm failing so hard right now, I'm not actually sorry, I'm writing this instead of doing my college work, I've not gone to class in a week because of this fic, Im a fucking idiot lol, It's not sally, Kidnapping, Man is flawed, Music taste at it's finest right there people, Not Canon Compliant, Philza Has Wings, Philza is best dad, Respawn Mechanics, Schlatt is a bad dad, Seriously guys, TEMPORARY Hiatus, Technoblade is happy to hit a child, Technoblade likes books, Technoblade's response to seeing a new sibling is to punch it, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is his first fish girlfriend, This is mostly written to "Achilles come down", Tommy gets into chaos, Tommy's real name is Theseus because Techno is a nerd, Tubbo is Schlatts son, Tubbo is just here to suffer, Tubbo is the only one to have half a brain cell, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Why did a person who has been kidnapped three times think writing a kidnapping was a good idea?, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur and Technoblade are half piglin, Wilbur finds Tommy and goes "DAD CAN WE KEEP IT" and Phil just goes "sure son", Wilbur has a fish girlfriend at one point, Wilbur is chaotic, Yes Technoblade punches a child, author uses this fic to project their childhood trauma, but y'know, don't write fanfic at 3am, fuck I accidentally deleted tags, goat tubbo, i got sad, i'm not even joking, no proof reading we die like technoblade, please help me, probably typos, there's a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTreeGroup/pseuds/TheTreeGroup
Summary: Schlatt wasn't a good father, he was hard and cold. He wasn't ready to be a father.So he does all he can think to do and gives his son away.Technoblade punches his new sibling at one point.
Relationships: Family only, platonic only
Series: I write these instead of going to class [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068869
Comments: 59
Kudos: 296





	1. And he didn't look back.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing an obsession woooo

Rain lashed down, soaking the man and the box in his arms. He let out of a sigh, as his eyes focused on the small boy in the box, he was doing him a kindness, he told himself, he was doing the boy a favour. He was no good with children, sure he could provide physical support to the small boy, but emotional, he had no clue how to do that. Hell, he hardly knew how to deal with his own emotions, opting to drown them in alcohol and strength potions rather than face what he felt. The mix of the alcohol and the potion was a dangerous one, he knew, but he didn’t care.

He watched as the small boy curled up closer to himself, shivering from how cold it was, the baby wasn’t wearing much, just an oversized sweater with a bee on it, so him being cold was expected. The man let out a sigh and closed the box. He didn’t want the last memory of his son to be of the small boy curled in on himself in a box, shivering in the cold, but sometimes the fates were cruel. 

The man kept walking, legs numb from cold, but he kept walking. He needed to find a place to leave his son, leave him and not return. It may have sounded cruel, and part of him told him to turn back, called him an idiot, this was his son for the sake of the gods, he should protect him. Then he remembered what had so nearly happened, how the small boy had obtained that ugly scar on one of his fluffy white ears. Then the man remembered that he was bad for the boy, he had hurt his son and so, leaving him was a kindness. 

He hadn’t meant to hurt him, but the baby just hadn’t stopped crying. He wasn’t a patient man, he knew this. But someone who would hurt his son to get him to JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE FUCKING MOMENT, he didn’t think he was that kid of man. He didn’t notice that he was that type of man until it was too late and there was blood and his son was screaming. He didn’t realise he was that kind of man until he got his son to quiet down and saw the mark on his small ear. It didn’t properly set in that he was that kid of man until he saw that it had scarred. He realised he was that kid of man when he saw how the fur would probably never grow there again.

The only thing the small boy would ever keep from his father and it was a scar. How fitting.

The man sighed, an itch was growing at the base of one of his horns. How annoying. 

That did remind him though, he had to find someone who at least knew something about goat hybrids, after all, his son would probably grow horns as he reached puberty and he didn’t want someone to panic. It was a painful and bloody process at first. He just hoped the boy didn’t have horns like him, that curled down his face and made wearing helmets hard, the ears made it hard enough already. Though, knowing the curse of genetics he might.

Another sigh. He was so cold and the rain just wasn’t letting up. Maybe his first plan of leaving the boy and hoping for the best wouldn’t work out too well, he didn’t want his son to die, the whole point of doing this was so that he was safe.

He must look so pitiful right now, ears weighed down by the water, stumbling through the storm, sodden clothes making every step heavy as he held the box, doing his best to keep it from crumbling under the rain.

‘Pitiful or drunk.’ The thought rang through his brain, yet another reason why he should just leave his son, find a better home for him. 

Bad habits die hard, they don’t go down if you don’t try. And he had never tried.

The man kept walking, turning corners and looking at alleys, wishing to find a dry spot to leave his son. All he wanted was to find a place to put the kid, and leave. 

He wasn’t a fatherly man, not in any idea of the word, he was tall and hard, not exactly parental in any way. He had none of these feelings people said about when they spoke about their kids. He had a kid, sure, but he didn’t feel love for the kid, he felt nothing but obligation. It was like a job to him, he just had to look after him because his kid couldn’t look after himself. Part of his obligation to his son was to not get him hurt, and he had proved already that he was incapable of not getting his son hurt.

A yell of his name brought the man from his thoughts, and ear twitching to meet the sound. He turned to see a man, dressed in mostly green, a black jacket pulled over his head, two large grey wings above him to shield him from the pouring rain.

He didn’t know the man well, just enough to know his name. They’d spoken once or twice. He also knew that the winged man didn’t live anywhere near him. Had he really wondered that far? Considering how drenched he was he supposed it was a possibility.

Once the winged man was closer the man holding the box could see his expression, concern filled those blue eyes. 

The winged man spoke first. “Schlatt, mate, what are you doing? You’re soaked.” His voice was concerned, he flicked one of his wings as he spoke to get rid of some of the water that had begun to pool in the thick grey feathers.

The man with the horns let out another sigh. “Phil, you have kids right?”

Confusion glittered in Phil’s eyes. “Yeah… Three. Why do you ask?”

Schlatt gulped, he hadn’t realised he was shivering. He supposed it was because of the cold. His arms shook as he looked at the box, part of him wasn’t ready to let go of the small boy, but he knew he had to, for his own good. 

“Phil. In this box is my son.” He looked up at Phil, seeing shock in the other man’s eyes. “I want you to take him. I can’t. I’m not made for fatherhood. I hurt him, you know that right? I didn’t mean to, but I did. Phil, I need you to take him.” 

Schlatt was a proud man, but now, holding the box in his arms and borderline begging Phil to take his son, he looked weak. Sympathy filled the blond’s eyes.

“I’ll take him in,” Phil said with a nod, “What’s his name and how old is he?” Important information for him to have, it would help him in the long run.

“His name is Tubbo. He’s about…” The horned man tailed off, obviously thinking. “Fuck, I don’t know. He’s a baby, I know that. Small too.”

“You… Don’t know how old your son is?” Was it anger or something else in Phil’s voice, Schlatt couldn’t figure it out. He just nodded slowly.

“Listen, will you take him? I can’t have him dying, and if I do what I was first planning he will.” Schlatt pushed the box closer to Phil, praying silently to the gods that the other man would.

There were a few seconds of silence between the two, the only noise being the pounding rain. The box wouldn’t last much longer, they both knew that. But the child inside was silent, either the cold had so quickly stolen his short life, or he was simply asleep. Both prayed for the latter.

“I’ll take him.” 

Schlatt’s face visibly relaxed as he let the box be taken by the other man.

“But, he can never know. Got it. You left him, my boys will never know of you. Understand?” The winged man’s voice was harsh as he shifted his wings to support the box so he could open it and hold his new son.

Regret crossed the ram-man’s face, though luckily for him the blond was too interested in checking the cold child over. “That’s fine, Phil. Now, I’m going to leave, I’m soaked to the bone and don’t want to catch a cold.”

With those last words he left, not glancing over his shoulder at his son and the boy’s new father. If he had he might have seen Phil’s concerned expression, might have seen how the winged man cradled the small baby in his arms, wings back into their position to shelter him from the rain. 

Had he looked back he might have seen as the box got caught in the wind and tugged away to disintegrate in the rain.

He might have seen how his son opened his eyes to look confused at the new person holding him. 

He might have seen the quick flash of anger cross the green-wearing man’s face as he saw the scar on the boy’s white ear. 

But he didn’t look back. Schlatt wasn’t the type of man to look back. He had a future to walk to after all. One where his son wasn’t welcome.


	2. Phil is tired and his son just punched a baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been working on this non-stop since 5pm and I'm uploading this at nearly 2am. I'm being bullied by my friends for spending all day writing and I've not slept properly in like two days someone kill me.
> 
> Tubbo gets punched (:

Phil pushed the door open with his free hand, holding the baby gently against his chest. Once he was in he slammed it shut with one wing. He flapped his powerful wings once to get the water out the thick grey feathers, leaving a little puddle on the wooden floor by the door. 

He shifted the baby’s weight on his shoulder so he could remove his sodden hat and then jacket. Tubbo was soaked right through too, and while he could wait the small goat hybrid couldn’t. He flicked his shoes off his feet, those could go away properly later. He could feel how the small baby shivered in his arms, so similar to how his, possibly former youngest, did when Wilbur found him.

He headed deeper into the house, thankful for it being slightly later. He wasn’t one to normally leave his boys home alone, especially with a baby and two chaotic five year olds, but seeing as he had just gone out to clear his head he didn’t see it as too bad to leave his boys home alone for what he assumed would be five minutes that they would be asleep for.

He was going to get the baby into something warm first, which meant going to Theseus’ room. He had to admit that he found the name stupid, but oh how his eldest’s eyes had lit up when he said it, the boy’s normal bored voice excited. Wilbur had argued with his twin about how it was stupid and it would be hard for the baby to say when he was older and how Technoblade might struggle to say it when his teeth came in. Technoblade had responded indignantly and said how it was a good name for his new younger brother. Wilbur had rolled his eyes and given in. The older of the boys had always been more strong willed than his curly haired brother.

Phil smiled at the memory and shook his head, a small laugh slipping his lips. He loved his boys, they were the light of his world.

He pushed the door to his youngest’s room open with one wing before repositioning Tubbo so he was resting in his wing. Phil had to be thankful that they worked like limited secondary arms, they helped him out a lot when he had to do things such as hold a baby while looking for dry clothes. That bee sweater wouldn’t keep his small form warm anymore. 

He felt disappointed in the other man, he didn’t understand how he could have so easily given up his son. It just didn’t make sense to him. 

Shaking away his worries he found some of Theseus’ clothes that would fit Tubbo.

As much as he knew that changing the kids name would upset Technoblade he also knew that if the child kept being called Theseus he would probably end up being bullied. If not by other children then by Wilbur. 

He positioned the baby so he was in his arms again and walked over to the changing table, a small and soft towel next to it, embroidered with the name of his youngest. Phil couldn’t help but chuckle to himself at how it made the child sound like he was some pretentious rich family, when in reality he was being raised by a perpetually tired winged man alongside two half piglins in the middle of the woods. Theseus, gods, was the eldest child in the family a huge nerd.

Phil quickly dried Tubbo and changed his clothes to the plain white footie pajamas he had decided on. The boy was so much thinner than he should be. Once again Phil’s eyes were drawn to that scar, it ran solidly from one end of the boys fluffy ear to the other, creating a clear gap in the white fur. It probably wouldn’t heal properly, and that saddened Phil, but he guessed that it made him similar to his new brothers. 

All three of the boys that Phil had adopted already had some form of scarring on them, Theseus - still a stupid name- had a scar on his hand, right by his pinkie finger, it was clearly from a burn, as if a bit of burning coal had landed on him. The soles of Wilbur’s feet were scarred, his softer human skin wasn’t made for walking bare-foot in the nether, sure he was more heat resistant than normal humans, due to being half piglin, but he was still closer to human in appearance than his twin, and so he burned easier. Technoblade, Phil still doubted that it was his given name, but neither twin had called him anything other than that or Techno, so he just didn’t question it, the more clearly piglin of the twins had a few scars, one on his snout that caused his nose to take on a slightly misshapen appearance and a small notch out of his left ear. These wounds had been so healed when he was found that Phil couldn’t do anything to help lessen the damage.

Once they were returned to the overworld Wilbur had been sent to bed rest until his burned feet healed. Luckily for the young boy being half piglin had some hidden perks, including a slightly advanced healing speed. 

Oh, he was lost in his memories again. Phil shook his head to see that Tubbo had fallen asleep in his arms, a small smile played at his lips as he cradled his new son. He’d have to do some research into goat hybrids and how their hybrid status will change their physiology, judging by how the small baby’s body appeared now, fluffy white goat ears nestled in his blond hair and the small white tail that had made the pajamas just such a pain Phil guessed that Tubbo wouldn’t change much more. But then, comparing how he looked to his father he also guessed that he would gain the horns. 

A careful hand ran through the sleeping infant’s hair as Phil checked his scalp for any signs of the horns, there were none, yet. He guessed that they would probably grow in later in life, similar to how Technoblade’s tusks probably would too.

Cautious not to wake the sleeping boy, Phil once again left the room, he wasn’t going to sleep tonight, just hold his newest son as he slept and think. 

Phil entered the living room only to see his eldest son sitting cross-legged on the sofa, a book on his lap. Technoblade seemed to not have heard him, too interested in whatever he was reading, though the half-piglin was muttering something to himself over and over.

A concerned look crossed his face, he knew Techno would go downstairs sometimes and he would be down there for a few hours before he would leave back up to the room he scared with his twin, Phil guessed he was having nightmares but didn’t want to come to him, but seeing the boy sat on the sofa in his oversized white t-shirt and shorts with his eyes glued to a book, the man realised that maybe it wasn’t nightmares and maybe his son was just too focused to sleep.

Not announcing to his son that he was in the room, Phil took a seat on an armchair, his wings splaying out to the sides in an apparently awkward manner. He just held the pale blond baby in his arms and watched Technoblade read and mutter.

It didn’t take Phil long to realise what the pink skinned boy was muttering, “shut up,” he had caught Techno saying it to himself when he was alone, but he had assumed that he was just annoyed by Theseus crying or Wilbur being loud, after all, Techno’s pig like ears had to be more sensitive to sound than those of his brothers and father. But now, seeing Techno muttering this to himself in the near silent house, the only noises being the rain pounding and the wind howling outside and Phil’s quiet breathing, Phil felt concerned.

He let out a quiet cough to gain the attention of his eldest son. This idea worked and Technoblade looked up letting out a small and slightly confused grunt. Phil assumed this was something in Piglin, it sounded similar to the grunts that the Piglins in the Nether made, so that’s just what he assumed.

“Are you okay there Techno? You keep muttering to yourself.” Phil tilted his head slightly as he stared at his son. At his words a sudden shock of anxiety seemed to hit Techno and he stiffened up and gulped.

Techno nodded slowly. “The voices.” He tapped his head, just below one ear. “They keep telling me things… I don’t like it. They’re scary.” Suddenly the normally tough five-year-old seemed scared and small and so much like a five-year-old should.

Phil stood up, careful of Tubbo in his arms, and walked to sit on the Right of Technoblade, his right wing wrapping about his son in what appears to be a hug. “Hey, it’s okay Techno. Can you tell me what they’re saying, maybe that will help it stop?” Phil’s voice was so soft, so caring.

Yet again Techno nodded slowly. “They’re saying the normal things. E, blood for the blood god. God they just won’t stop saying E.” Techno took a few deep breaths before continuing to talk. “They’re saying something new though.” He paused to look up at his father, black eyes meeting blue. “They’re saying ‘Tubbox’ I don’t know what a ‘Tubbox’ is.” The piglin’s brow creased in concern. 

Phil couldn’t help it, it was just too perfect, he began to laugh. His laugh caused Techno to scowl at him, the young boy had always been so serious, it was probably from spending a year looking after himself and his brother in the Nether.

“What’s so funny?” Techno’s tone was slightly harsh, he didn’t like the idea that he was being laughed at. Perhaps a ‘Tubbox’ was some overworld thing he had never heard of before.

“I’m sorry Techno. It’s just that I found a child earlier. In a box that was labeled ‘Tubbo’ so the fact that your voices are saying ‘Tubbox’ made me laugh because of where I found the kid.” Phil felt bad for lying to his son, but he couldn’t have him knowing that the child had been willingly given up to him. The child being just found in the storm seemed less tragic to him.

Technoblade frowned, a low grumble in his throat. “What did you do with the kid?” He looked up at his father then down at how he was sitting. He thought the way his fathers arms were folded was off. And how utterly drenched he was.

“I took the kid home Techno, he only appears a few months older than Theseus, being out in that storm would have killed him. Poor kid was utterly soaked in nothing but a box and this tatty bee sweater.” Why was Technoblade seemingly so upset by this, he didn’t care when Wilbur had found his youngest brother, but now he seemed almost upset.

Another low grumble, Phil was now sure that the child was talking in Piglin. Techno took the book off his lap and moved to be staring at the baby. He was tiny and thin, possibly malnourished, he reminded him of a smaller version of Theseus. Yet again the child grumbled lowly to himself, his eyes fixed on the sleeping baby. 

Then, without really thinking his fist was moving forward and he had punched the sleeping baby. Almost instantly Tubbo started to scream, causing Technoblade to stumble back with a squeal and land on the floor with his hands over his ears, curling in on himself.

Phil yelled before he started trying to comfort the screaming baby. It didn’t take long for more screaming to start, Theseus had woken up, and gods could that child scream.

Fat tears rolled down Tubbo’s face as he screamed. Techno was on the floor rocking, Theseus was screaming in his crib, but he would tire himself out soon enough.

Then there was a loud bang and the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. Then, skidding to a stop just inside the living room was a very dishevelled looking Wilbur, his curly brown hair was a mess and the black shirt he had been sleeping in just moments before was hanging awkwardly off his body. The five year old scanned the room before he focused on his twin curled on the floor with his hands over his ears.

He headed closer, arms wrapping around the older boy, not that he was that much older, but Technoblade was still Wilbur’s older brother, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

“Blade?” The brunet’s voice was quiet, whispered to his twin, it was only for his twin to hear. “Are you alright, what’s happened, why are you on the floor? Why’s Thee screaming?”

Technoblade looked his younger brother in the eyes, they were so filled with panic, panic that Wilbur had never seen on his face. “Wilbur…” Techno’s voice was tinged with so much regret. “Wilbur, I punched a baby.”

Much to the dismay of the slightly older piglin Wilbur began to laugh. The laugh caught Phil by surprise too, and this seemed to stop Tubbo from screaming, for now, though fat tears still rolled down his cheeks. Wilbur just had such an infectious laugh, the kind of laugh that made all sadness seem to fade.

“I’m sorry, but did you just say you punched a baby!?” The curly haired boy sounded like he was about to burst out laughing again, he pulled away from his brother, hands still on his shoulder to stare him in the eyes. “And the fact that you said ‘A baby’ instead of ‘Theseus’ makes it sound like it’s a baby you don’t know. Where did you find a baby to punch?”

Technoblade scowled at his twin, grumbling to himself. “It’s serious Wilbur, I saw a baby and I, I don’t know why, but I punched it! This is a problem.” The serious child was staring at his brother with such ferocity that anyone outside of his family would have backed away from the young half-piglin.

It was Phil who spoke up next, his voice as serious as that of his eldest son’s. “Wilbur, your brother punching a baby isn’t something to laugh about. He shouldn’t have done so.” Phil took a few breaths. “Technoblade, go to your room, stay there the rest of the night, Wilbur go check up on Theseus, we will talk in the morning. I am not ready to process that my eldest son just punched a baby, or that I even have another baby.” The commands were given in that way that only an overly tired father who has just been given a baby in a box in the middle of a rain storm and then watched his eldest son punch said baby can. Technoblade and Wilbur both stood up and headed up the stairs, Wilbur running ahead, using the banister to help him turn and dash up the stairs while Techno trudged behind, his head lower and once again he was muttering to himself, probably telling the voices to shut up.

Phil sighed, he should probably get out of his clothes, he was starting to feel the cold sap his energy, his wings hanging heavy. Once he was sure his sons were doing as they were meant to, he too joined them upstairs. Though he wouldn’t stay there long, he was going to go right back to the main room and to the sofa, to spend the night awake listening to the storm raging outside and the quiet breathing of his new son.


	3. The summer means boredom and a hyperactive piglin

Days had turned into weeks and weeks into months and months into years. It had been four since Phil had been given Tubbo, six months since the name of his youngest had been changed to “Tommy” due to both boys having a hard time with the long given name. 

Phil smiled, he was enjoying the rare quiet, there wasn’t much of that in this house anymore, Tommy was almost always yelling about something and annoying his older brothers. Tubbo was quieter, a good child, but he did join Tommy in his chaos sometimes, which didn’t help with the noise levels in the house. Wilbur spent most of his time playing guitar, not well, but he tried. Phil could appreciate that he was trying. Technoblade… The half Piglin spent most of his time practicing fighting. Phil didn’t really approve of how invested his eldest was in violence, but he was nine and it seemed to keep him calm. And so long as he wasn’t hurting people Phil was content to supervise his son with the wooden sword.

Today however there was more chaos in the house than normal, the boys being confined to the house due to just how hot it was outside. Sure Technoblade and Wilbur could go out with no negative effects from the heat, due to their Piglin side, but the youngest two couldn’t. 

Being confined to the house wasn’t what Techno wanted, he longed to be able to go out and continue to practice with his swordsmanship. But he also knew that the heat would probably lead to his youngest brothers being hurt, they didn’t have his tough skin and heat resistance. 

He grumbled to himself and flopped on his bed, listening to his younger brothers rant at each other, probably plotting something. Techno didn’t really care, he was too distracted by a dull ache in his lower jaw. He reached one hand under his bed and pulled out a small gold nugget. It was the only thing he had from his old home, and the young boy just didn’t want to get rid of it. He rolled it between his fingers, admiring how it shone. 

It was common knowledge that Piglin’s like gold, and the half-Piglin was no exception, he loved how cold it felt on his hands and how it seemed to glitter in the sun lit room. A smile grew on his lips. Piglins liked gold, and as much as Technoblade liked to deny it, he was still Piglin. 

The boy’s smile faded as he moved a hand to feel at his jaw. That ache was really starting to annoy him. Techno had a high pain tolerance, but this was just a constant dull ache, it wasn’t too bad, so when he wasn’t alone he could pretend to be fine, but now, on his own, with very little to distract him, the poor boy couldn’t stop focusing on his jaw and how it ached. He wondered if it was related to being Piglin, he remembered that the adults had these big tusks. Technoblade had assumed that they were born with them and due to being half human he wouldn’t grow those tusks. Perhaps the child had been mistaken, and now, at age nine, he was developing the tusks.

Technoblade shook his head, deciding it was best to not dwell on such things just yet. He would have more time until then.

As if he were some merciful god sent down to draw Technoblade from his thoughts Phil’s yell echoed up the stairs and to the boys. Almost instantly he heard the familiar sound of running as his brothers raced each other down the stairs, Wilbur probably winning due to his advanced age and height. 

Technoblade rolled off the bed and made his way downstairs, he didn’t run anywhere like his brothers did, he just walked. Unlike the younger boys Technoblade didn’t feel the need for such chaos himself, however the voices, they craved it, they longed for chaos and violence.

And blood.

They were always on about blood. 

Technoblade hated it, they were just so. Damn. Loud. They never shut up, they only seemed to quiet down when he was practicing with the wooden sword. They only seemed content when he was learning to fight. Sure, he too loved the rush of power that holding the sword made him feel, he loved how it made him feel powerful and strong and like he was learning how to protect his brothers. But his love of learning to fight was nothing compared to the love that the voices had, theirs bordered on obsession, theirs was twisted and cruel, no noble goal to protect, they just wanted blood. 

He shook his head as he trudged into the main room to find Tubbo standing there and staring up at him, those big blue eyes unblinking, their horizontal goat pupils gave his face a slightly vacant look, if you didn’t know the boy you would guess he had nothing but the Mii theme playing behind those eyes constantly. Techno chuckled to himself at this thought.

“Daddy says that he made dinner.” Tubbo said this with a smile, reaching a hand out toward his big brother. “So come on! We have to go before Tommy and Wil eat it all.” The hand clenched the bottom of Techno’s shirt and Tubbo began to try and lead his big brother into the kitchen, where the families table was located.

Oh gods, eating. The stupid ache in his jaw hadn’t lessened so Techno was slightly dreading having to eat anything, afraid that it would change the ache from just a mildly irritating ache into full blown pain. 

Techno chuckled and allowed his younger brother to lead him into the room. Once they were in Tubbo let go of Techno and ran to sit next to Tommy. Ugh, Techno was still upset that the boy’s name had been changed, but so long as his little sibling was happy he guessed that was all that mattered. 

Taking a seat next to his twin Techno took a moment to watch Phil finish the cooking, he had to admit to himself that Phil was a good cook, and he had hardly eaten today, electing to spend most of it sulking in his room over not being allowed outside. 

Wilbur leaned over to his twin, a small smile on his face. “Why are you in a bad mood Techno? Someone take your gold?” His tone was teasing, but not exactly unkind. 

Ah, brotherly love, how cruel it could be.

Techno grunted in response. “First of all I’m in a bad mood because I’m bored, secondly, don’t act as if you don’t like gold just as much as me.” He turned his head to scowl at his brother. He wasn’t lying when he said about Wilbur also liking the yellow metal, both boys chalked it up to some piglin thing. 

“I guess, but even when you’re bored you’re not normally this grumpy.” Wilbur seemed genuinely concerned for his brother. It was funny to him how quickly he and his twin could switch between getting upset at each other and teasing to being genuinely concerned for the other's wellbeing.

A sigh slipped through Technoblade’s mouth. “I’ll tell you after we’ve eaten, alright?” This caused Wilbur to nod, and was then almost instantly drawn into the weird conversation that his four-year-old brothers were having. 

Techno began to zone out, it was probably the easiest way to get the voices to be quiet for some time. He let his imagination wander, not that his was particularly great, he mostly just imagined being side by side with his twin and father fighting off the monsters that roamed the dark.

He was pulled out this daydream by a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to be met with the smiling face of his father. “Eat up Techno and maybe I’ll let you go outside and practice for a bit, alright?” 

This pulled Technoblade from his mood and he nodded enthusiastically, not missing the upset grumbles of Tommy and Tubbo, but Techno didn’t really care, he might get to work off some of this energy he was filled with. Being inside all day may be better for his more human brothers, but for him, the heat of summer gave him far more energy and a longing to learn. He guessed it was related to how hot the nether was, Wilbur was slightly more energised today too, but he was content to stay inside and babysit.

He looked down at the food, compared to his family he had more potatoes, but there was still chicken on the plate too. He began to eat, not missing how it made the ache in his jaw slightly worse, but he ignored it, too excited by the idea of finally being outside and able to work off this energy.

“Wilby.” Tommy looked up at his brother from where he had been pretending to eat the potatoes, he was never a huge fan of them, but seeing as it was this or nothing Tommy guessed he should eat them sooner rather than later, but first, talk to his brother.

Once he had Wilbur’s attention Tommy spoke again. “Why does Techno get to go outside but we don’t?” There was something sulky in the child’s voice, he thought it was just so unfair that Techno could go outside when him and Tubbo were stuck inside the house all day.

Wilbur smiled at his little brother. “Well, you know how me and Techno are from the Nether, right?” Once Tommy nodded Wilbur continued the explanation. “Well the Nether is very, very hot, and because of us both being half Piglin we can become energised by the heat, because it’s so hot today it’s messing with Techno a bit. He’ll be fine once he can work off some of his energy.” 

Tommy frowned, staring at his half piglin brothers with a confused expression. “But won’t the sun burn you?” 

It was Phil who explained next. “No, the sun won’t burn Techno, it might burn Wilbur if he’s out without any shade for too long, but they have tougher skin than me and you and Tubbo. The sun won’t hurt them like it will us. That’s why we have to stay inside, to prevent getting hurt. It’s not just burns from the sun that you need to be careful of, it can make you very sick if you’re too hot for too long.”

The curious boy nodded and Phil continued to talk, “How about, if it’s cool enough, tomorrow we go into the town and pick you boys up some things.” Phil tapped his chin, thinking. “Let's say the goal is to get Tubbo a new bee plushie, you Tommy, well you need new shirts, I swear you grow far too quickly, and you can pick up something while we’re there. Wilbur you can get some books on guitars. And Techno’s, that will be a surprise” He nodded to himself, feeling proud at the happy, and confused, expressions on his son's faces. 

The next few minutes passed in silence as the family ate, the only commotion that happened next coming from Tubbo choking on his water, but this was quickly solved by itself. 

It didn’t take that much longer for the eldest child to finish eating and stand up, taking his plate to the sink. Technoblade walked from the room and to his one. He emerged a few minutes later, his long pink hair tied into a plait, now he was wearing a pale blue shirt, probably stolen off Wilbur and, as usual when he wasn’t going into a town, his pajama bottoms. Even if he was going to be ractacing with a sword he could be comfortable.

Techno opened the door to the house, instantly being hit by a wall of heat. The half piglin couldn’t explain it, but it was nice. He stepped out, having not put any form of shoes on he could hear Tommy arguing with Phil in the main room and laughed to himself.

The sky seemed to stretch on forever as he raised his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. The boy made his way to the side of the house where a wooden sword rested along with a log. Technoblade grabbed the sword, the voices yelling their encouragement, he began to pretend he was fending off hostile mobs, but being only nine he was not in any way skilled. But that didn’t matter to him, he was having fun, that was all that mattered. 

He didn’t know how long he was out there in the heat for, pretending to be fighting, practicing parries and blows with the dull sword. The distraction did prove to prevent him from noticing the dull ache in his jaw though.

Laughs and yells joined the sound of the child playing. Phil smiled as he watched through a window, he enjoyed seeing how much fun the boy was having as he pretended to fight. Phil had decided that by the time that Techno was 12 he should have a stone sword, not a sharp one, but it would help hone his skills. The blond man wasn’t going to complain about his son learning to fight to protect the family, after all, it would be useful skills for him to have. A lot of humans still didn’t like hybrids, especially when they looked so visibly different to them. He could pass by well enough by simply wearing a cloak over his wings, Tubbo would probably be fine, people tended to like “cute” hybrids such as him, Tommy was fully human, so he was probably completely fine too, and Wilbur looked human, the only signs of his piglin blood being in his behaviours and ability to speak Piglin, a language known to be near impossible for those without Piglin blood to learn due to the noises that were needed to form it.

The sun was starting to set now, but it was clear that Techno wasn’t slowing down soon, he was having too much fun with the pretend hacks and slashes of the sword, so Phil decided to get Wilbur to fetch him in, not liking the idea of going out himself, it was still just so hot. But that’s what he got for deciding to form his little family where he did. The secluded woods he lived in felt the weathers so strongly, but luckily for him and his oldest boys it hardly snowed. Just rained, constantly. 

“Wilbur, get your brother inside now, it’s getting dark!” Phil yelled into the house, knowing that Wilbur had heard when he could hear footsteps coming from Tommy and Tubbo’s room and running down the stairs. 

He caught a quick glimpse of the tall boy as he dashed out the door to collect his sibling in. Phil smiled, the way he obtained his family may have been unconventional, but he was happy with it. It was his family. 

Almost as always when he thought about the family he remembered that night when he had been given Tubbo, how small the boy was, how that scar ran through his fluffy ear like a river. The scar was still there and Tubbo was still much smaller than his brothers, but he was a happy child, and that’s all that really mattered. Not that he had been given in a box because his biological father didn’t want him, not that they were unsure of his actual birthday and only really knew that he was a handful of months older than Tommy. That didn’t matter, for now at least.

One day he would have to tell the story of how he found each of the boys, but for now, he would let them be. Tommy and Tubbo were only small after all, they didn’t need to know that they weren’t related to Phil quite yet. He would let the boys be kids. Teach them respect and maturity, but let them be boys.

Phil thought he was quite a good father, and considering how easily he had welcomed the four boys into his home, heart and family, he could be said to be a good father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm so bad at describing heat, I live in England, it's always cold here.


	4. Teething but it's a nine-year-old half Piglin getting tusks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter pog? 
> 
> Sorry this took me a while, my mental health did a backflip and said "no" and so, I was just incredibly sad and couldn't work. It wasn't a vibe.
> 
> Anyway, I'm excited for tomorrow because I'm getting a Minecraft bee plush and naming it Tubbo because I can.

Pain. Nothing but white hot pain. Technoblade’s mind spun as he curled in a ball on his bed. He was so thankful for his siblings being too distracted outside. He let a small pained noise slip his mouth. He was normally so good at pretending to not be hurting, but as days turned to weeks the ache in his jaw turned to a constant pain. 

Today had to be the worst day for it though, his jaw felt like it was burning. The poor boy could hardly think, the slight metallic taste of blood tingled on his tongue, there wasn’t a lot, hardly any really, but it was all he could think about. Even the voices were quiet for once. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed them, their constant chatter kept him distracted, this quiet was new, Technoblade couldn’t remember a time in his life that it had been quiet. The Nether was noisy, his brothers were noisy, the overworld was noisy, hell, even his own head was noisy. Technoblade wasn’t used to all noise being drowned out by his brain only focusing on the pain in his jaw.

He didn’t know when the tears had started, he didn’t know how long he had been laying there for, sobbing quietly into his pillow. He didn’t notice until there was a hand resting against his shoulder and soft cooing noises and comforting murmurs filled his ears.

He raised his head, shaking slightly as he did so. Almost instantly his face met the concerned brown eyes of his brother. Technoblade felt so confused, he couldn’t understand, why was Wilbur here? He thought the boy would be outside with his brothers, bossing them about and pretending to form a country or something. The boy didn’t know what they played, he was too preoccupied with the dull wooden sword, it made him feel like he was doing something important.

“Techno, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Who am I kidding, you’re obviously not. What’s wrong? What’s hurting?” Wilbur seemed to be stressed, he often rambled when stressed. 

There was silence for a small while, Technoblade figuring out what to say and Wilbur waiting for his brother to talk to him.

“My jaw…” Technoblade started to talk slowly and carefully, trying his best to ignore how his own blood seemed to sting his tongue as it rubbed against two of his teeth. “Wilbur, my jaw hurts so bad.” He looked up at his brother, eyes seeming to be pleading with him for just any form of comfort, some recognition that his twin was also hurting how he does. Selfish he knew, but in his defence he is a child with pain he can’t explain. 

Worry glittered over Wilbur’s eyes, concern creasing his brow. The curly-haired boy thought for a moment. “Can you open your mouth?” He hoped that his brother would do as asked, after all the request was unconventional to say the least.

Technoblade seemed confused for a moment, but did as he was asked. Wilbur stared at his brother’s face for a moment before he clapped, seeming excited. “Techno! Techno! Your teeth! Your tusks are coming in!” 

This announcement made Technoblade close his mouth, seeming confused. “Wait… My tusks?” He seemed to join his brother in being excited. “Oh my gods! That’s why I’ve been in pain!” 

Wilbur nodded, grabbing his brother’s hand and dragging him off the bed. “Technoblade we need to tell Dadza!” Wilbur had called his adoptive father the nickname once and from then it had kind of stuck for the oldest boys. 

A small “oof” sound caused Wilbur to look down, laughing at the sight of his brother being in an awkward heap on the floor, all limbs at awkward angles. “Sorry Techno.” Wilbur said with a laugh as his brother picked himself up off the floor and brushed himself off.

Technoblade rolled his eyes, elbowing his brother affectionately. “So, where’s Dadza? Outside with the orphans we call brothers?” Wilbur stared at his brother with a slightly betrayed expression.

“Technoblade, you do realise that we’re both orphans too?” The brunet said this with a laugh as he started to walk from the room. 

The more obviously Piglin boy huffed to himself. “I’m not a bloody orphan.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night ‘Blade. Whatever helps you sleep.”

Technoblade pushed the front door open and stepped outside, enjoying how peaceful it was. At east until there was a yell from around the corner of the house. Tommy, never able to be quiet, was yelling something about “Tubbo and his bees.” Technoblade assumed that Tubbo had managed to befriend some more bees and was accidentally tormenting the other blond child.

He felt Wilbur grab his wrist and begin to drag him to where Philza was watching the two children run about, Tubbo with a bee following close behind him, Tommy running away from them, pretending to be scared by the bee.

Phil looked up and waved, that familiar kind smile crossing his face. “Good afternoon boys. I see you managed to drag Techno out of bed.” His voice was so kind, even if he was teasing his eldest son for having spent the day in bed.

“Yeah, he was so grumpy too.” Wilbur said with a laugh, letting go of his brother’s arm. This earned a huff from Techno, who shot a glare to his twin and crossed his arms.

“Oh! I have something to tell you!” Wilbur seemed to remember why he had even dragged his brother outside. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he stared at his father, watching as the man took on a confused expression.

“What did you do Wilbur?” Poor Philza sounded exhausted from the antics of the boy. “I swear if I have to go into the town to make amends for some prank I’m not going to be happy.”

The brunet shook his head rapidly. “No! I didn’t do anything! This is about Technoblade.” Wilbur clapped his hands, reveling in the slightly confused look on his fathers face. 

“What happened then? Why won’t Techno tell me?” Phil shifted how he was sitting on the log he was using as a seat. But now the younger boys had noticed what was going on and were watching intently, Tubbo’s bee having left at some point during the game too.

“Because he’s Techno! He won’t tell anyone anything because he’s so tough and thinks he’s-” Wilbur began to rant before getting cut off by his twin giving him a light kick.

Technoblade glared at his sibling, noise crunching up in anger, showing some of his teeth. “Shut up Wilbur.” His tone dripped with a quiet danger. He turned to face his father and took a few breaths to calm himself. “I got dragged out here because according to Wilbur my tusks are coming in.” This sentence was punctuated by an over dramatic eye roll.

Phil stood up, concern crossing his face, he had read that it could be painful, the teeth could grow quite a lot, and they would stretch out his gums, causing tearing and bleeding. “May I see Techno?” When he got a nod and saw the boy open his mouth Phil walked over to him and looked, sure enough there were two teeth in a slightly different position than they had been. Philza frowned, he had hoped that the boy wouldn’t get the tusks, but he supposed it was inevitable, he looked so Piglin.

“You’re gonna be okay Techno.” He just wanted to comfort his son, but Techno had always been a hard one to comfort, he was fiercely independent and so kept things hidden and secret, he didn’t often take people’s words to heart, no matter what they were.

“I know I will.” Techno shifted how he was standing, he seemed awkward. 

“There is some blood there.”

“I know.”

“I can get you a potion to numb the pain if you want. It won’t be strong, you’re still too young for potions, really, but it might help.”

“Please.”

With that Philza stood up and walked into the house, calling for Wilbur and Techno to stop the younger boys from getting too far from the house.

“You’re getting tusks?” Tubbo sounded so curious, staring up at Techno with those large blue eyes, their goat pupils did cause an uncanny look, but he was a cute child nevertheless. 

Techno just nodded, looking down at the child, a small smile playing at his lips as he saw how Tommy stood just behind, the child was scowling slightly. It was a peculiar expression, but Techno found it funny.

“That’s so cool!” The goat hybrid clapped his hands jumping slightly. “When I get my horns then we can match! And we can keep everyone safe! And and and!” Tubbo seemed to be trailing off as his mind wandered. But he just seemed excited and happy.

“Are you sure you’re going to get horns Tubbo?” Wilbur asked, tilting his head. “You might end up without any. Like how I’m not getting tusks.”

Tubbo shook his head. “I will get horns and I will look after everyone! I know I will!”

Tommy was the next to speak. “Tubbo, you don’t need to protect us, because we have Dad and me! And I’m amazing!”

This caused the other three boys to laugh, Tommy scowling deeper and crossing his arms over his chest.

“You guys are rude. Thinking you’re better than me because you’re older.”

Wilbur laughed again. “You’re a child.”

“So are you.”

“True, but you’re the youngest.”

Tommy turned his back to his adoptive siblings. “Come on Tubbo, let's go find something better than these two bullies.” He grabbed Tubbo’s arm and stomped off, dragging the other boy behind him.

Wilbur began to laugh holding onto Techno’s shoulder to stay standing. A few minutes later, the two boys stood in awkward silence as they watched their siblings run about with sticks, pretending to fight with swords.

It took a few minutes but Philza came out of the house, holding a bottle and a rag. He approached his sons. “Okay Techno, sit down, I’ll put the potion on the cloth and then press it to your gums and it should stop you feeling pain for a while.” 

Techno nodded. “Alright.”

He sat cross-legged on the grass, mouth open to allow Philza to swab the potion onto his sore gums. The winged man sat in front of his son and opened the potion bottle, pushing the rag to the mouth of the bottle he tilted it slightly, soaking the cloth with the potion. 

When the rag had enough of the numbing potion on it Philza put the stopper back into the glass bottle and rested it beside him before he pushed the rag to the gums of his eldest. Techno’s face contorted in disgust, numbing potions smelt minty and the poor hybrid boy had never really liked the smell of mint. The rag was kept on Technoblade’s gums for a few minutes, during which time Wilbur had gone off to do something with the other two boys, probably taking command of their game as he usually did.

Once Phil removed the rag from Techno’s mouth Techno poked at his lower lip, apparently the potion had got there and gods did it feel weird. “You okay Techno?” Philza seemed concerned, he wanted to make sure that there were no negative side effects of using the potion on the young boy. Sure, nearly 10 wasn’t that young, but before your body was more matured potions could be dangerous, their power too much for the small body to properly use.

Technoblade just nodded in response to Phil’s question and stood up, turning to head inside and probably start reading.

Philza smiled affectionately as the boy walked away before turning his attention to watch the other three boys. Not long after having to scold Wilbur for accidentally hurting Tubbo with the stick he was holding.

It was peaceful and nice. Phil loved days like these, when the family just was. Existing in their secluded little glade he had claimed as home so many years ago, before he found the two half Piglin boys, the human and the goat hybrid.


	5. Oh fuck-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say before I start this chapter that there is a BIG trigger warning for Kidnapping.

Three of four of the boys were standing, staring up at their father with pleading expressions. It had been so long since they had left the woods and Wilbur, Tommy and Tubbo were bored of it. So now they were begging to be allowed to join Philza on his trip into the town.

Phil sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Alright, you four can join me, so long as you promise me that you’ll stick together the whole time and not wander off. It can be dangerous, especially for Tubbo and Technoblade.”

Technoblade looked up from where he had been reading on the sofa. “Wai’, why d’ I have to tag along? Thought I was saying ‘ere. I don’t want t’ go.” He spoke slightly awkwardly, his tusks had started to poke from his lips, making it slightly harder for him to talk, so he skipped a few bits here and there. It would get better when they had stopped growing and he had figured out how to talk around them better. Or so he hoped.

“Because I’m not leaving you home alone Techno. Now we need to go through rules and such, so put your book away.” Technoblade rolled his eyes at Philza’s words but did as he was told, it was easier than arguing with him.

“Good, now, remember to stay close to each other and close to me, don’t wander off. If someone seems suspicious tell me, got it?” Phil sounded so serious as he spoke, his eyes scanning over the faces of his boys.

Tubbo was the first to nod. “Got it! We’ll stay close to you!” He gently elbowed Tommy before turning to smile at him, earning an eye roll from the taller blond.

“Ain’t no poin’ in wandrin’ off.” Techno seemed mildly irritated about the idea of going into the town, he didn’t like how people stared at him. He hadn’t been in a few years, and seeing as how much different he looked now, with a near constant bored expression and the tusks that poked through his mouth, he knew the looks would just get worse. Luckily for the other hybrids they could hide themselves easily, Phil having to just wear a cloak over his wings and Tubbo being seen as “cute” meant that he didn’t have to change anything about himself to pass. But Techno, he was weird, looked “wrong”. He could already feel how people watched him, wondering what they assumed to be a full Piglin early adolescent was doing following three humans and a goat hybrid.

“Hey, you can trust us. We won’t leave your side, no matter how bored we get.” Wilbur promised, Techno was the only one who noticed how he shifted awkwardly, he was probably planning on leaving, but eh, he’ll be fine. He had a talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it unschaved. 

“I’m not going to wander off I guess. I’ll be fine though, I’m a big man!” The way the youngest boy asserted himself caused Tubbo and Wilbur to burst out laughing, earning offended glares from Tommy.

“Tommy please, promise me you’ll stay close.” Philza sounded so exhausted, he just wanted to get some supplies, but now three of his four boys wanted to come along and he had to drag another with him. 

“Fine. I’ll stay close.” 

“Thank you. Now you should get ready and wait for me.” 

Wilbur, Tommy and Tubbo nodded running off to find their shoes, and Wilbur a hat. Techno followed behind them, hands in the pockets of the hoodie he was wearing. He really didn’t want to go, humans were annoying. They stared and whispered, some clutched their golden possessions a bit more tightly. Gods Techno hated it, and the voices. The voices, they hated it more than he did. They told him to prove them right. To hurt the humans that stared at him. But he knew that was stupid. So he ignored them.

\---

Techno hated the town. He hated how loud it was. How crowded. How people bumped into him. How he had to cling so close to Phil’s cape. How the noise and the chaos and the smells hurt his head. His brain was too full of all the outside world. He couldn’t even hear the voices. He was alone in his own head, clinging to his father’s clothes, praying silently to every god that it would get quieter soon. He hated how Wilbur and Tommy and Tubbo were laughing and joking, running around Phil as they walked. He hated how he was never even asked to join their game.

Closing his eyes tightening in hope that would fix how scared he felt Techno sped up slightly, trying to ignore how he stumbled slightly on the cobbled street. He just wanted to go home, to not be here, where people stared and muttered and there was so much noise. He wanted to go home where it was quiet and safe and away from all of this. He wanted to be younger again when people would coo and be kind, when he couldn’t understand their barbed looks and hushed whispers. When he and his brother would run around under Philza’s feet, utterly enchanted by every little thing that the overworld had.

But Technoblade wasn’t a small child filled with innocence and curiosity anymore. Towns weren’t big and scary, but in that way that filled the boy with a longing to explore. People weren’t sympathetic when he got lost or confused about something that he didn’t understand.

Technoblade was tall, with scars and tusks, all gangly limbs, still slightly too thin. He saw how people glanced at him, eyes full of hate. He saw how they looked at Philza and Wilbur and Tubbo and Tommy. How they whispered about how hard it must be to live with a Piglin. How he must be such a handful to deal with because of this. How he must be violent and dangerous. How he must have pushed the other boy's mother away. 

Techno hated it. He wished Wilbur looked just a little more like him. He wished that he shared more physical similarities to his twin, not just their deep black eyes. He wished Wilbur’s ears, with their slight point, were just slightly more like his. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so abnormal? 

Selfish. Wilbur deserved to be happy, to go into towns and cities and laugh and run about, unaware of the eyes that watched his twin. Wilbur deserved to not worry about what people thought of him just because of how his hybrid nature presented itself. Wilbur deserved to never face people’s hate for being a hybrid of a Piglin.

Maybe he should become the master of his fear? 

Maybe he should leave? Not for long. But he should face the town and the people’s glares and whispers. 

Maybe he should face what scared him so much with his head held high, he was powerful after all. He could do it. Face his fear.

Face his fear.

Face the town.

Break the promise.

He would have to break his promise to do so.

But he would feel so much stronger for it.

But he would break the promise.

But it would be good to go for a short walk to find something. He had a few coins in his pocket anyway. 

And Phil would be proud of him, he faced the fear. 

But Phil would be angry that he broke his promise.

Break the promise. 

Keep the promise, keep safe.

Technoblade gulped, hands loosening on Philza’s cloak. 

Break.

Technoblade looked about, seeing how his brothers were too busy playing together.

The.

Technoblade looked up at his father, occupied with bartering for something.

Promise.

Technoblade let go of his adoptive father’s cloak and began to walk. He cast a glance back, seeing how Wilbur was watching him, a curious expression in his black eyes. Techno just nodded, hoping his twin would understand. Wilbur seemed to and went right back to playing with the two younger boys, keeping them from getting too far from Phil’s side.

Anxiety and fear coiled around his heart, digging their barbs into him. He turned back, now unable to see his family. The early adolescent gulped, deciding to wander on. He would eventually find Phil and Wilbur and Tubbo and Tommy. He kept walking, deciding that he should ignore how people stared at him.

He felt even more out of place the further he walked. He was aware of how different he looked to humans, but he was just now realising how foolish walking away from his family had been.

Unaware of how long he had walked for Technoblade’s legs ached, his mind fuzzy from fear. The voices screamed at him. They told him how scared Phil was. Gave him conflicting directions. They however didn’t help with his intense anxiety. So he kept walking, fists clenched, jumpy and alert from danger.

It may have been years since he had been in any danger, but that kind of fear never leaves your body. He may hardly remember being a small child and having to look out for his weak, human appearing brother, but Techno had never forgotten what fear felt like. How it nearly blinded him and he was filled with one thought. 

Live.

The boy kept waling, he was beginning to feel hopeless. It had been years since he had been this scared, and fear like this takes a lot of energy, and judging by how the sun had moved in the sky he had been walking, tense and scared, for a while now. Maybe he should find someone and ask them to help find his family, or at least the edge of town so he could make his own way home.

Techno was incredibly good at navigating, well, he was incredibly good at navigating when he had an unobstructed view of the sky or when there were trees about that he could gain an idea of where he was from. But he was hopeless in towns, they were disorienting, with their weaving streets and turns. 

He just kept walking, longing to hear a familiar voice or see something he recognised, he had got turned around in the maze of streets. But no familiar voice came to his ears and he saw no familiar landmarks in the cobble and wood maze.

“Hey, kid.” Technoblade turned to the voice, seeing a tall man stood there, his hair was ginger and well kept, matching the suit he had on. Part of the hybrid was curious as to what he wasn’t frightened or just acting like he hadn’t existed. The larger, and less logical, side of the scared eleven year old was just thankful that someone else was aware of his predicament.

Remembering what Philza had told him Techno looked at the man’s feet, muttering a quiet “Yes sir?” He really didn’t like how small it made him feel, but he had always been taught that he had to be polite to humans, especially those that were dressed smartly.

Technoblade hated how the man smelt, like dirt and fear, but not his own. He ignored it, but bit at the insides of his mouth, hoping that the slight pain that it gave would distract him from the smell of the man. 

“What are you doing here kid? This ain’t no place for a Piglin like you.” There was something wrong with how the man spoke, but Technoblade couldn’t identify it, deciding that the voices, and his anxiety, were wrong and the man would be perfectly reasonable and help him find Philza and his family again. He, however, couldn’t deny the slight indignation that the man assuming he was fully Piglin brought to him. He would correct him and then ask for help.

“I’m only ‘alf Piglin. And I know this isn’t a safe place, but I got lost from my family. We don’t live in town and I’ve not been here since I was small.” Technoblade was focusing so hard on not stumbling over his words, harder than he usually did when just talking to his family. After all, he wanted this man to help him. Proper pronunciation of the common language would help with that goal.

“Alright, this still ain’t no place for a half Piglin. You should find your family quickly kid. These streets are full of scum.” The man sounded genuine, but Techno was wary, he wanted to find his family and get home where he would get scolded and probably sent out to gather firewood for a few hours before being sent to his room, where Wilbur would bring him a small meal and they would chat together about what had happened that day. To gain that goal Technoblade would need to first ask the man for help.

“Dadza told me not to leave, but I got lost in a crowd. Could you help me get back to the centre of town?” Keep being polite, he reminded himself. Being polite would make the man more likely to help him find his family again.

“Sure kid. Follow close.” And with that the man set off, not giving Techno long to react before he followed.

The two walked for ages, twisting and turning, Technoblade staying silent, the man had to know his way about the town, after all, he probably lived there. The voices were screaming, telling him that the man was danger, to run. Their fear was nearly overpowering, but he kept himself closed off from them, remaining silent and close to the man. He had to trust the ginger, he was the only human who hadn’t looked at Techno with an expression of fear, pity, anger or disgust. The man was the only person who offered to help.

So Technoblade followed. His suspicion of the man growing as he saw the houses thinning out and becoming shabbier in appearance. “Uhh… Are we going the right way?” He hated how unsure he sounded. He was Technoblade after all, the one the voices call the Blood God, he had survived on his own in the Nether looking after his brother. He shouldn’t sound so scared of something as simple as the houses looking shabbier and worse.

“Can it kid.” The man sounded harsh and angry, it sent chills down Technoblande’s spine. He considered running, but as if the man had read his mind he turned. A blue blade, glowing faintly purple now pointed directly at the Piglin boy. “Run and you get cut. And you’re too young to be able to respawn yet.”

Fear clouded Technoblade’s mind, the voices screaming for blood, for violence, for Techno to run, for him to fight. They were so damn loud. He gulped and nodded, eyes fixed on the glowing blade, which he now identified as being made from diamond, glistening in magic from the enchantments.

“Good job kid. Now come with me, stay close or you are even less likely to see your shitty little family again.” The man nearly growled this as he grabbed Techno with his free hand and began to drag him through the streets. The poor Piglin was too scared to react, his body seeming to just obey the man, scared out of his mind, with the voices screaming for him to fight back, demanding blood.

It wasn’t much longer before Technoblade was shoved through a door and into a room, cages lined one wall, each having a small bundle of what seemed to be rags in an ugly heap. It took the Piglin a few more moments to realise that each cage actually contained a child, ranging from younger than Tommy to a few years older than him.

He wasn’t spoken to, just shoved into an empty cage and left. None of the other children reacted to him much, except a boy who looked at him with dull eyes before going back to seemingly being asleep. 

Techno was in too much shock to do much more than sit curled up on himself. He didn’t cry, he just sat there, regretting his decision to face his fear.

He regretted leaving Philza’s side, regretted not saying a word to Wilbur. He regretted even going into the town. If he had just been smarter he wouldn’t be here. But he wasn’t smart. He was a fool. A foolish child who thought he was stronger and safer than he was.

He wouldn’t go back to the centre of town, get scolded by his father and made to collect firewood and then sent to his room for the night. He didn’t know what would come next. He didn’t know if he would ever listen to Wilbur sing again, if he would fall victim to one of Tommy’s pranks, watch Tubbo befriend yet another random bee and then feel sad when it left to return to it’s hive.

Technoblade fell to his side, and his eyes closed.

The voices seemed to be soothing him, but they repeated one thing. “Sleep.”

He did. Maybe if he did he would find out that this was a horrible nightmare.


	6. Not a chapter, will be deleted before next chapter comes out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just to explain why this book hasn't been getting updates. Huge trigger warning for animal death and mental health stuff, including self harm, disordered eating and recovering from abuse.
> 
> I'm sorry to anyone this chapter may disappoint.

Hey, I wanted to talk with anyone who is interested in this book, in a rather real way. 

I started this story not long after I had moved out of my abusers house. It was a fuck you to them and a way to take my power back. It was also planned out of spite for a person who stalked and harassed me for the better part of five months, I'm fairly sure that their intention was to stop me from writing and get off the internet forever. Now, I am a man fuelled almost entirely out of spite, and the only way I'm getting chased off the internet is for some 2014 Tumblr era controversy that goes down in internet history. 

And it worked, I started to recover, with this fic as my reason. Sure my college grades suffered, but honestly, I don't fucking care anymore. They're suffering now. But fuck it, I'm too tired to care anymore, the world is going to shit and my poor college grades in PERFORMING ARTS won't change that.

I was doing well, until recently my mental health took a sharp decline and I relapsed. During my time with my abuser I was being neglected and left without food for long periods of time. I started feeling shame for being hungry. I saw myself as too needy and as a horrible manipulative person because I was hungry. It was very common for me to consume 570 calories a day just because I didn't have the money for anything more substantial. To stop the feelings of hunger I took to cutting myself whenever I felt hungry, or ate too much. I wanted to throw up what I had eaten if it was "too much" (Still less than what it should have been) because I felt disgusting. I suppose I'm lucky for my lack of a gag reflex, or else my disordered eating would have progressed much further than it did. My abuser had money, but I, being at the time 16 and mentally disabled and unable to work, I relied on my abuser for food and warmth. I'm sure they didn't mean to be an abuser, but they were. I got clean when I left. I was clean from self-harming, until last night. Which fucking sucks so bad and I hate how I feel.

I still love my abuser, even if I was only 10 when they started trauma dumping their life on me, even if they neglected me and hurt me. They're one of my parents and I still love them. I still care for them so much, and my pets that live with them and had a better life than I ever did while living there.

I turned 17 on the 25th, three days ago at the time of writing, I don't know if this will be posted then, it probably will because of how emotionally numb I am. Today I got a call from my abuser. My dog, who has been with me for most of my life, had died earlier that day while I was skipping college and playing sims and just living my best life. I hadn't been told because my abuser didn't want to disturb me in college.

Basically my head is doing a big fat fucky and I just lost my dog today and my life is falling apart and it's great! /s

This was a ramble and a vent, but basically, I relapsed, my dog died, I hate myself and probably won't be writing for a while while I mourn for my dog.

Until I return, possibly with a nearly completed Fundy angst oneshot just because it's FAR more done than the next chapter of this, i suppose this is a see you later.

I'm so sorry if I have disappointed anyone with this, I really didn't want to take an official break from writing as other than watching the funky minecraft men, drawing Ranboo, playing the sims and dissociating into the fucking void, it's all I do and it's my greatest passion, but this has been boiling up for a while, and my dog dying was the straw that broke the camels back.

Until next time, it's not a good bye, as I will return, possibly sooner than I expect as I have a habit of posting these things and then churning out a chapter super fucking fast to avoid my emotions lmao.

\- Eggs (Yes that is my name lmao) [I use it/they/he pronouns btw]

**Author's Note:**

> Yeee


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